Pagan's Doubt


I remember now why I was worried about Pagan taking up Lord Jordan Roucy de Bram offer (Roland Roucy de Bram rolls of the tongue better).

It’s the fact that Roland’s attitude made such a 360 degree turnaround during the events of the book. The Roland that we came to know in Pagan’s Crusade is a calm, collected, authoritative and in-control person who has strict morals and generally good judgement, despite wanting to sacrifice himself for the good of others.

In Pagan in Exile this changes greatly as Roland becomes ‘tainted’ by the behaviour of his family, and the huge contrast between Roland’s personality and values and the rest of his family’s is clear. Here Roland is someone who cannot grasp any form of control, is downtrodden by his family, and fails to prevent tragedy. Pagan is also an outsider here, and he feels it.

While I’m a fan of the Roland in Pagan’s Crusade, Pagan in Exile shows a more human side of Roland, shows someone who has his own flaws and insecurities and painful past. It gives some insight into his journey to become the person he was, and continues the journey to the person he will be.

While I was looking forward to getting past the main tragedy in the story (well, not sure if I was dreading it, or looking forward to getting past it), I’m now reading the next book - Pagan’s Vows - and it’s excruciating. Yet, still somehow appealing. Such Latin!