The Kuudere Chinese

Ayanami Rei, a known kuudere (with Gintama crossover, but that's not important)

An interesting quote of a quote from stuff white people do:

Miller finds evidence suggesting that in China, verbal expressions of love may be common between family members, but not between lovers:

Shanghai Love Education Institute founders Ni Meiqi and Dong Xingmao say Chinese love is “like a thermos – cold outside but hot inside.” Western lovers (particularly those of the American variety), they claim, say “I love you” far too much, and what’s worse, “they don’t actually mean it all the time.”

When I first read this my impression was of Chinese people all being Kuuderes, except with the important distinction that the dere side never manifests itself physically. You may never see the blushing partner who sidles up and gives you a hug, but at least you feel it in their actions?

Miller also interviewed professor of psychology Yan Wenhua, who says that in Chinese culture, actions speak louder than words, especially when it comes to love.

“To the Chinese mind, if I do all these things for you, then you should know I love you," explains Prof. Yan. . . .

“In Chinese people’s eyes, if I say ‘I love you’ too often . . . then maybe you don’t really love me because you say it so much."

I somewhat feel like this goes back to the fact that things are ‘assumed’. From your actions you imply love, which I am supposed to infer and assume that love is the driving factor. My high school maths teacher told us frequently Don’t ASSUME, or it will just make an ASS out of U and ME. While we all thought this was hilarious and stupid at the time, it makes sense.

If I assume something, and it turns out wrong, who is going to look like the proverbial ass in this case? How can I know for sure if you don’t tell me? These are all real dilemmas, and I think a cause for more trouble and confusion than you think.

It makes me wonder how people used to get together. Do you simply walk up to the other person and say ‘Hey, will you go out with me?’ as simple as that? How do you judge if someone wants to be with you merely because of looks or something deeper? I’m used to seeing confessions in anime and manga and perhaps the odd one or two in English movies or televisions series, but the entire affair is still a mystery to me. And might always be.

Top image by 速水融次郎, on Pixiv.