I would rather kill myself than be female


@makkiato_ on Twitter retweeted something interesting from Tumblr earlier. As quoted:

@makkiato_: Wha? "@mollous: " 'Kill myself' was the kost common answer when they contemplated the possibility of life as a girl" http://t.co/HUAuenwFmX

I can't say I blame those boys. I would actually agree with the part of the pictured study before large paragraph at the bottom — at one point in my life I would have given anything to be a boy. Not only do boys get to avoid the monthly 'thing', they only have one main responsibility in the process of a pregnancy, don't have to deal with media pressures of being slim and slender and beautiful, it matters less for them to be trendily dressed, and society is kinder to them, happier to advance them further, pay them more and more open to them.

Wow, I sound like a feminist, huh?

Even in my later years of high school, I dreamed of a time where I could start masquerading as a guy. Reading The Song of the Lioness in my youth gave me this idea that I could pretend to be a guy and be more accepted, be able to do 'boy' things, and achieve better dreams. Somehow.

Those girls in that survey are certainly more loving of who they are. When I couldn't be a boy, I tried to be as tomboyish as possible, cutting my hair short, pretending to be active and playing with the boys. Though society is changing, it is still not that different at its core. When you're young, gender doesn't matter to you as much, you just have friends — or at least it didn't matter to me. But as you get older, suddenly there are differences — you're not as strong, there seems to be a concept of 'ladies first', so on (while that may seem like a plus, many would say it's not).

I don't know, I'm no academic, but in the past year or so I'm coming more to terms with who I am. I don't mind being female too much anymore, and I have Ruben to thank for that. But all the same, it still feels unfair at times the gender roles that are placed on women as homemakers, as people that are supposed to be chaste, sometimes at the emphasis on virginity, and maybe even the flac that teenage mothers get sometimes when their male partner is just as guilty, if not more so.

All I can say is, I don't blame these. And I believe looks have a lot to do with anything nomatter how much we may like to fool ourselves that we are assessed on our merit. That's why I now put on makeup.