DV - No, I didn't mispell DVD.

Originally from http://xamberfire.blogspot.com

Not in any way do I count myself as an expert on this subject or can I have said I've read anything particularly scientific about this subject, but this is a topic I wanted to consider from a somewhat odd point of view, in my opinion. Having not experienced it (not what others would define as it?), nor having studied this kind of topic, you can disregard what I have to say. These are just my opinions and observations.

I was reading a book a while ago - as I said, in no way scientific, it could actually be described as pretty 'trashy' - and it had a case of domestic violence in it. The beginning of the book showed the main character, a social worker working for a woman's shelter, talking to one of her clients. She was a 'battered wife'. I observed that the social worker didn't seem to understand the ... victim's mentality. The victim's situation was reaching a dangerous point, and the social worker at this point tells the victim:

"You need to get out of that house. Take these threats seriously, and get yourself and your kids out of harm's way."
Although this seems to be a reasonable piece of advice to tell a victim,often it's not something they see as possible. If I were in the social worker's position, I am sure I would be thinking the same thing, giving the same advice, but is this not because we have never faced the same sort of situation (and if we had, would be necessarily be a social worker now? Have the qualifications? Not be dead? Anything is possible of course).

The victim is scared, because her husband used to be in the military (a special sort of black ops like unit?), drinks, has anger management issues (possibly because of his dispatchment from the military or something?) and has threatened to kill her if she leaves. Knowing what her husband is capable of, the victim is unable to comply, and is so frightened because of her first hand experience of her brutality, that she cannot think otherwise. This is where the social worker cannot begin to understand, as she has never met this husband, and only knows the information the victim has provided.

The victim had also told her husband that she had gone to the shelter, in fear because her husband wanted to know where she had been going. The social worker is supportive the whole time, trying to be encouraging, producing ideas which may give her some hope. I'm not saying that she's not like a model of a social worker, however, I wonder how we can begin to compare to these people's experiences and be able to deal with them effectively without having experienced it ourselves. Of course, such a situation is brutal and it's not as though I encourage that people face these kinds of situations, not to mention that each person's experience of DV could be different, however ... I just feel that perhaps sometimes the social workers cannot think from the victim's point of view, so caught up in trying to help them.

Of course, if everyone thought from the victim's point of view, I hardly think any case would ever be resolved. Therein lies my dilemma within this post, and with many things within my life. Although I can see how this way is probably the best way to be able to deal with such matters, it doesn't seem right, as client and social worker somehow do not seem to have any sort of crossing over with each other. It seems almost as if the social worker is missing the point. Yet that is probably not so.

The social worker is there to provide hope, isn't that right? Also, they should maintain a professional distance, otherwise all cases would affect them too greatly to continue their work. They could possibly be traumatised and need to consult a psychiatrist - hence why my parents say a psychiatrist is the worst job, having tolisten to everyone's problems. Not to mention there are greater things than merely having the experience of being abused that influence a victim's mentality. It's not possible for a social worker to be able to deal with everything.

Although I can understand all this, and this post is not essentially conclusive, it's just a little sight into what I think of this. I commend social workers for their work, but from my fortunate third part point of view, I wonder why these social workers seem to be missing some sort of point, seem to not be addressing all of their client's problems. Without knowing enough of this subject myself, perhaps I can reach no conclusion, but I hope that this has inspired some thought in at least someone.